


You're a good man, Charlie Brown

by Tashilover



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-07-27 22:55:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16229012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tashilover/pseuds/Tashilover
Summary: Five times Max refused to believe David could help... and one time he didn't.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write a Camp Camp fic for a while. I hope ya'll enjoy.

1.

It's been three fucking days now, and the goddamn splinter was still embedded in his thumb. Normally by now his body would've pushed it out, but this tiny sliver of wood was stubborn. It sat snugly right in the middle of his thumb, making the skin around it red and irritating.

It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't hurt so fucking much. Every time Max tried to write something, hold something, or open a door, hot pain would shoot through his thumb. He'd hiss and wrench his hand back, staring down at the splinter with hate. Trying to use the bathroom today was a challenge.

Worse, the majority of today's activities were hands-on projects, including arts and crafts.

"Max? Why aren't you participating?"

Max stared sourly down at the table of full of paper, glue, tape, glitter, rope, and ink wells. Next to him Nikki was creating some kind of deformed heart covered in hot pink glitter. Neil was content in his project of creating a flux capacitor out of toothpicks. Max was the only camper who had nothing in front of him.

Max shrugged. "Because this is stupid. I could be doing other cool stuff, but I'm stuck with you losers."

"Now Max," David chastised lightly. "I'm sure if you give this a try, you'll have loads of fun! Why, look at the others! Preston is creating a Venetian mask. Nerris is making a dragon out of toilet paper rolls, and Nikki... Nikki! Stop eating the glitter!"

"I'm just not in the mood to be covered in glue today. So piss off and go bother someone else."

David frowned. Instead of fucking off like Max told him, David took a seat next to him. "You're not acting like your usual self. Are you okay?"

"Really? I told you to piss off and you think that's unusual for me?"

"Yes, well... you seem a bit defeated today. Is something the matter?"

Max sighed. There was no point in fighting this. David would only pester him until he snapped. With a roll of his eyes, Max held up his hand to David, showing him his irritated thumb.

"Oh my," David said. "That's one nasty-looking splinter."

"Yeah, I know. Now can you leave me alone? This damn thing has been the bane of my existence for the past-"

In mid-sentence, David leaned over to the crafting supplies, took a piece of tape, and rolled the sticky side across Max's thumb. The little splinter slipped right off.

"There!" David chirped, tossing the tape away.

Max stared at his thumb in disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me? That stupid splinter has been bothering me for _days_ now, and all I needed to do was get some tape?"

David smiled and got up. "I've seen my quite share of splinters, Max. I know all the tricks of the trade. Now, why don't you get started on something? I'm sure whatever you'll make will be wonderful!"

Max rubbed at his thumb. Pain was still there, but compared to before, it was nothing. Even the irritable redness was quickly fading away.

"Huh," said Max. With a shrug, he reached for the glue stick. Time to make some cardboard ninja stars.


	2. Chapter 2

In the end, Max had to swipe a razor from Nurf. He could've easily stolen a razor from David or the Quartermaster, but Max would rather shoot himself in the foot before using any of David's sanitary items, and... no. Just no.

Besides, Nurf had like ten whole sets of disposable razors. He wouldn't miss one.

Max kept the razor hidden in his tent for two days, waiting for a time where he knew he would get the bathroom all to himself. Every Thursday was swimming lessons, and the majority of the kids liked to pee in the lake. When Max heard Gwen yelling at Nicki for pooping in the water, that's when Max quietly slipped away. The sounds of disgusted screams followed behind him.

Once in the bathroom, Max laid out the items he stole on the sink. Narf's razor. A fluffy pink towel from Gwen's bathroom. A fresh bar of soap. He then looked up at the mirror and inspected his chin.

He wasn't imagining it. He was growing hair.

Oh, _fuck yeah._ Dotted along his jawline was the smallest of hairs, barely growing. When Max rubbed his hand across his hair, he could feel them tickling his palm. He was becoming a man. A handsome man with a full beard. Was Max a beard-man or was he more into mustaches? Oh, he'll decide later. Right now he wanted to try his hand at shaving. He didn't go through all this trouble just to do nothing.

Humming quietly to himself, Max opened the new bar of soap. He took a moment to sniff it- the lavender scent reminded him of his Nana - and ran it under the sink. Once he got a good lather going, he rubbed the white suds over his chin. He took the razor and held it against his jaw.

And immediately sliced himself open.

"Aw, FUCK!"

The razor clattered into the sink. Fat droplets of blood followed, staining the white suds pink. Jesus fuck, how deep did he cut himself? The sharp, unfamiliar pain on his face had tears gathering in his eyes. It didn't hurt that bad, but the sight of the blood and the overwhelming smell of lavender had the room tilting.

"Max?"

The room reoriented itself quickly. Oh no, not now.

David walked further into the bathroom. "Max, what are you doing here? Are you... shaving?"

"Fuck off, David! I'm trying to do something. Can I get some goddamn privacy here?"

"Yikes! You made such a mess here. Oh my goodness! Are you bleeding?"

"It's just a small cut! Go away!"

"Now, Max. I know how much shaving cuts sting. And it looks like you got yourself good. Oh gosh, you used soap as lather? No wonder you cut yourself. Give me a second, I'll be right back."

"I won't be here!"

That was a lie. Max still had soap suds all over his face and he was still bleeding. He didn't want to face the others looking like this. They would laugh at him until the cows came home.

David came back only a few minutes later carrying a first aid kit and... shaving cream?

"Now then," David said, putting the items down on the side of the sink. "I'm going to show you the proper way to shave."

"What? I don't need your help, David. Besides, are you even capable of growing a beard? You have a face like a five year old."

"I actually grow facial hair quite easily but it's not ideal to have a beard in the wilderness. It takes a lot of effort to maintain."

"The Quartermaster does it."

"The Quartermaster also uses the sharpen edge of a boar's tusk to shave. I wouldn't take advice from him... First things first. We need to wash off that soap. It's drying out your skin and irritating that cut."

Over the next ten minutes David instructed Max how to use a razor. He showed Max how to properly put on shaving cream, the important use of hot water, and what to do when he accidentally nicked himself. It was embarrassing at first, but as the minutes ticked by, the embarssment drained away, and Max followed every instruction David gave without back-talking. By the time they were done, Max's face was smooth and soft.

"Perfect!" David clapped. "Now you know how to shave!"

Max inspected himself in the mirror. "Huh. That's not half-bad. Thank... uh... good work, man."

"You're welcome! Now if you excuse me, I have to go disinfect the lake. Again."


	3. Chapter 3

This was the coolest moment of Max's life.

Of course he wouldn't admit that out loud. What would make this moment perfect if he had a pizza and a cold bottle of coke on hand. Though no snacks were on hand, this was still a pretty great moment. All the kids pressed their faces against the windows, holding up their phones and recorded the whole thing.

"Get a good look, kids!" David said. "It's not often we get visits from the North American wolf!"

"That's for good reason!" Gwen grumbled. "Those wolves better stay the FUCK OUT OF MY STUFF!"

Out on the camp grounds, seven large wolves prowled the camping grounds quietly. The leftover hotdogs from last night's meal had attracted the animals. Some of that may have been Max's fault. Instead of throwing away his leftovers properly, he flung them into the woods for shits and giggles. He'll never admit it was his fault though.

The wolves dug through garbage cans, inspecting toys left on the grounds, poking their heads into tents. Nothing seemed to interest them for long, and slowly one by one they started to leave the camp.

"Looks like they're finally leaving," said Gwen in a relieved tone. "Good. I was afraid they'll do more damage."

There was only one wolf left. It kept sniffing an empty bag of chips. When the wind picked up it up, the wolf followed.

"Hey Max," Nikki said. "That wolf is going towards your tent!"

For the first time during this whole situation, Max's smile melted off of his face. He watched as the wolf continued to follow the bag, and when it noticed the slight opening of Max's tent, it slipped inside.

David put a hand to his cheek. "Oh no, Max. Did you leave dirty socks out?"

Max snorted. "Unlike the morons who go this camp, I know how to handle personal hygiene. It's probably trying to get out of the hot sun."

The wolf emerged back from the tent. In its mouth was-

"NO!" Max screamed, slamming his fists against the window glass, startling everyone. "MR. HONEYNUTS!"

The worn old bear was clamped between the jaws of the wolf, drool already staining its brown fur. When the wolf bit down hard enough to puncture the fluff, Max screamed in terror.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM, YOU ASSHOLE!"

The stitches popped and unfurled, letting loose the stuffing inside. Thick puffs spilled out of Mr. Honeynuts's slits like guts, and when Max screamed out one last threat, the wolf bit down all the way, severing the bear in half.

Its fluffy insides rained on the ground.

The two bear halves clung to the wolf's mouth by single strand of thread, dangling there like newly fresh kill. There was a howl of in the distance, catching the wolf's attention. It howled back, then trotted into the woods, leaving a trail of fluff behind.

There was silence as everyone turned to Max.

"Max... you okay, buddy?"

Max's left eye twitched. All he could stare at was the remains of his oldest friend strewn about on the camp grounds.

The world went black.

 

 

 

 

 

The world held no color for Max anymore.

Every meal tasted the same. Every activity dragged on. His body felt heavy, sluggish, and no matter what he did, nothing helped. When he woke up in the morning, he didn't see the point.

Was he being dramatic? Of course he was, he's a ten year old kid. He had every right to sulk and moan if he wanted. Besides, how would anyone react to the death of their oldest friend?

Mr. Honeynuts was not some cheap toy bought at a store. He was not a prize won at a 25 cent claw machine. Max's nana made it for him. It was one of the last gifts she gave him before cancer took her away. He could still smell her perfume in Mr. Honeynuts's fur.

Max hadn't been sleeping well either. He's gotten used to the feel of wrapping his arms around something. Space Kid offered Max the use of one of his toys, but it wasn't the same. Besides, Max found pressing his face against the hard plastic of a space shuttle was immensely uncomfortable.

Then on the second week after Mr. Honeynuts's death, David walked over to Max with a box in hand.

Oh, Max was so not in the mood for more sympathies. It was bad enough the campers kept trying to cheer him up, but now it was David's turn. This was already embarrassing and David hadn't even sat down yet.

"Hey Max," David said gently. "I know you've been feeling quite down since the accident last week. I lost my bear too. I called him Snuffles. He was a dolphin."

Max groaned. "Just save it, David. Gwen already told me her long history with Prince McGruggins of the Lollipop Guild. I don't need to hear whatever hallucination adventures you and Snuffles went on."

"I know, I know, but all I'm saying is... I understand what it's like to lose a friend. Especially a childhood friend. Feels like someone cut out a piece of you."

Max sunk further in on himself.

"Here," David said, putting the box down and pushing it towards Max. "I brought a gift for you. I hope you like it."

Max stared at the box glumly. As expected in David's style, the box was decorated in white and pink wrapping paper with a delicate bow on top. With a sigh, Max pulled the box to himself. He ripped off the overly cutesy paper and opened the top.

Inside was a new teddy bear.

Max's face scrunched up.

"What the hell is this?" He demanded. "You think this'll replace Mr. Honeynuts? Fuck you!"

He threw down the box.

Quietly, David reached down and retrieved the box, pulling the teddy bear out. "I didn't replace Mr. Honeynuts," he said.

He placed the bear down in front of Max.

"This is Mr. Honeynuts."

"What?"

In the front of the bear was a Velcro seam. David undid the Velcro with a loud crunch, reached inside and pulled out a little fabric pouch shaped like a heart.

"Inside this sewn pouch is Mr. Honeynuts's original fluff," David said, holding up the heart. "I tried to find the rest of Mr. Honeynuts's original body, but the wolf carried it off. So I gathered the original fluff, and put it inside here. Yes, the body is completely new, so he'll feel and smell different... But this is Mr. Honeynuts. Because his heart is still the same."

He placed the pouch back into the body and firmly closed the seam.

Max stared. He kept telling himself over and over again, this was not Mr. Honeynuts. This bear was slightly bigger, yellow-er, and its button eyes were black instead of grey. Yet the longer he looked, knowing deep inside of it was Mr. Honeynuts, still living on, he found he couldn't bring himself to care about the difference.

He reached out and took the bear into his arms. He buried his face into Mr. Honeynuts's chest.

"Gross," he said, his words muffled. "It smells like you."

"You're welcome, Max."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original ending was David repairing Mr. Honeynuts's body, but I felt that was cliché and ya'll would've seen it coming a million miles away. Then I got inspired by user https://doctorbeth.tumblr.com/
> 
> They repair teddy bears, and I highly suggest checking them out. It's honestly one of the sweetest things I've ever seen.

**Author's Note:**

> Tape does sometimes help with splinters.


End file.
